I wonder (only sometimes)

In life, I wonder, I wonder who is a winner and who is a loser... if something like that exists. Is someone who is at the heights of what they are doing the winners and the one who is good at nothing the loser? Or is success and failure measured on the amount of money and fame a person earns, or the respect he gets cos of it or is it based on the amount of people who love him. What makes a human life better than another? How can anyone say or judge one person is better than the other? What would it be based on? I really get confused when these kinds of questions are asked. What are we striving for? Or what should I strive for? Sometimes, I think these questions are unanswerable, unanswerable because, when we don even know the meaning or reason of life, how can we come to know the best way to live it? Are we striving for happiness? Is that the goal ? Or are we a bunch of total meaningless creatures on this corner of the universe that can be washed away anytime just made to think and feel as something important. Are we just like the rocks all around us with just a little more power to make us more and more confused? Is this so called intellect and reasoning just a farce to make us think, make us go round and round just to make us feel we are reaching somewhere but eventually it just makes us rotate insanely and leaves us back at the begining with no answers. We are in such a situation that each and everyone have a definition of life and the reason to live it, but none of them can prove that their reasoning is the right one. It is all based on either assumption, or cos it’s written in some books, or cos our elders were always following it. To come to think of it, we have been put in such a beautiful loop. We have been given a reasoning power, but also with that we have been given a strong set of intuitions or instincts which would try to believe what it wants to. So we assume something’s and then we give some facts on those assumptions and try to establish them as the truth. Every 100 years someone comes along and says the base assumption is wrong so the truth which has been told should be re-written. Initially a group of people would resist, then some would want to kill him for even proposing the same and then gradually we accept and we understand his reasoning power was superior to others cos based on the available facts he had the potential to think so much far ahead. But still, there always are some assumptions somewhere to get the results as we want (this point I started believing since I read about how the light propagates in high school, I am not brainy enough to comment on the theory, but felt we made too many assumptions in there). We were taught "Man is an rational being". But to think of it we are only rational in fraction amounts, else we love to live by how our elder’s leaders tell or the holy book says. If we were truly rational there would be lot less pain around in the world. I think we are a hugely instinctive, emotional people ruined by what we are programmed to do by the holy books, the pandits, the mullahs rather than being rational practical beings. Also I feel how much ever I wonder answering my initial questions in the post satisfactorily is near to impossible, but I still hope, I would find the answers someday ....

Adieu

Yesterday was my last day in the old company. The past few weeks were really good. I had made a lot many friends in the company. This was the time they bonded as real good friends. I really will have lot of fond memories of the team, their love. Also there were many close to the heart encounters which might be a bit inappropriate to share in this public forum, but which will be cherished forever. Nevertheless the week was one of the most eventful one of my life. Thanks for everything. And I am not sure to whom am I thanking :). I think this will be the only post which will make a little sense in this blog.

Confused

hey... am back again. So in the middle of the night, felt like jus typing out a few words, have an interview tomorrow. Dunno how it will go, hope i do well. Really hope so, cos i have made up my mind to leave the current job. This situation is making me think, yeah yet again, this situation and a blog i just read is making me think if we should hold on to what we have and always try for better? Is it a rule or am I scared of the unknowns? Is it always necessary to think about the future and build stairs on which we constantly are climbing? I am too confused right now to put my thoughts into words right now. But my question would be, What are we all running towards ? Should i just stop running and take a moment to think ? Its quite scary thinking of running all your life around just to survive ? Isnt there more to life ? Or am I in the wrong direction ? Anyway wish me luck for my interview, Hope i do well.

Make way for the gyaani

The things you own end up owning you. Just heard this quote somewhere and it like bought me nearer to my quest of dunno what. So this sentence deduces to this: a man is free when he owns nothing he cares much about or when he has nothing to lose, else he would really care when he loses something or he would crib a lot on the loss of the pettiest comfort. So does this say beggars would be one of the most free people on the face of earth ? probably not. The most free people are, who are not owned by things that they have or those who dont care of losing them, who dont crib over losing their comfort or something, who understand they are just living out an illusion and what they lose or are cribbing over were never theirs and were just given to them as a game. So we should understand there is no happily ever after anywhere until you understand that you cant be happy by getting what you want, but you can bring amount of sanity in your life by caring the least of what comes into and goes out of your life. So the gyaan here would be live out of the life you have now, in the present, than caring bout the future or cribbing bout the past.

Lazy Weekend

So, After thoughts of starting a blog from so many years, Here i am starting one. Writing about nothing. Anyways been in my room the whole of the day, this saturday. Didn't feel like going anywhere. So watched a couple of movies, comedy movies, just to lighten up my mood but to no avail, not that the movies were bad, they were pretty decent , but dunno why my mood is still as crappy as it was yesterday evening. Anyways one of the movie was Monty Python's The meaning of life, It made me think. yeah think on those lines why are men obsessed in knowing the meaning of life and defining their philosophies how life should be lead and a bread should be earned. The last sentence might not have made any sense i just though that lead and bread rhymed so used in a single line.. pretty cool huh? So anyways i was talking about leading life. How bullshitty theory is it when an egoistic erratic person or a group of egoistic erratic people try and say their philosophy of leading life is cool or the best. Anyways it was quite a fun movie, a bit lame and boring in the middle but still enjoyable on the whole. So what else .... mmmmm .. What else can i think of ? Yeah .. Nope thats pointless ... wait .. mmmm ... Yeah the songs of Dev D are cool... hearing to them right now .. Doesnt make any sense but they are cool ... Also another thought . wow loads of thoughts rolling in my head .. i too could try and become a philosopher if these thoughts come on a regular basis ... shhhh shoootttt forgot it .. shittt .. nopes its coming back ... yeah the internet is such a big garbage dump to think of it .. I can publish this junk and in my mind could think someone out there would be reading this and smiling that his life is so much better than mine . Wow net is quite a powerful invention. These many thoughts are enough for a first blog i guess. Should leave some thoughts for future too if i ever write again ...