tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5150288351743116062024-03-05T02:01:17.268-08:00In a TrancelIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-19251524976411553752015-05-10T09:34:00.001-07:002015-11-22T04:20:02.207-08:00May the King live forever<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka stood in the middle of the hastily prepared <i>shivir </i>around half a mile away from the Pataliputra fort. The Ganges river flowing beside the <i>shivir </i>is indifferent to the human activities taking place along the length of its bank. He had only few specific details that he mentioned to the soldiers putting up the <i>shivir </i>regarding the direction of the doorway, the specifics of what part of the fort needs to be visible from where his guest sits. He had also made sure few fruits and water is available for the guest. The adversary was going to arrive pretty soon to the <i>shivir </i>. He moved out of the <i>shivir </i>and gazed at the fort which was getting ready for the battle ahead. He could see the cavalry taking its position just outside the fort. His instructions before he left the fort was very clear; any person, a peasant, farmer, mason, either male or female who could ride a horse should be dressed as a soldier and out there representing the cavalry, the rest who could not ride were dressed to take the position in infantry. Women and children were disguised and mixed to increase the number of infantry outside the fort. He was a master of deception, but he was always deceptive to appear weak when he was strong, never the other way. He could not risk a war, war would mean the end of Magadha. The enemy had to be subdued without fighting. He laid his eyes on the arrangements inside the camp once more and moved to take his seat.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The united armies of Panchalas, Kasis, Vidarbhas, Avanti,
Kurus, Surasenas had camped just a mile away from the fort, safe distance from
where they could plan an attack on the fort. They were attacking under the
banner of Panchalas led by their Prime Minister Aruni. The <i>shivir </i>where Kalpaka
had arranged for the meeting with Aruni had couple of openings, one for Kalpaka
to see the biggest of the enemy <i>shivir</i> and another behind to the left of him so
that Aruni can see one part of the fort when seated with Kalpaka. The soldiers
had left and should have entered back into the fort now. In a short while, he
could see that there was some movement in the enemy camp and he could see Aruni
coming towards him. He had met Aruni previously 3 to 4 times under different
circumstances when they visited universities to lecture or pick the brightest
of the students to serve their kingdom and them. Kalpaka had grown a liking
towards him, the conversations they had always left him with a sense of
satisfaction. In the eyes of Kalpaka, Aruni was as good a prime minister as any
in the history of Bharath. Though Kalpaka was highly regarded as the wisest
prime minister of all times, today he felt he was unprepared for this meeting.
He would have never got into the current situation if not for the insecurities
of the king and incompetence, sycophancy of the ministers in his own kingdom.
He knew this could be the war he might lose. As he saw Aruni approaching
closer, he shook himself out of negative thoughts, got back his composure and
reminded himself that he had a kingdom to defend.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni reached the <i>shivir</i>, washed his feet and entered into
the camp. Kalpaka could see a glint of surprise in Aruni’s eyes when he saw him
sitting for negotiations on behalf of Mahapadma Nanda, the Nanda king of
Magadha. Kalpaka welcomed his guest and asked him to take a seat. Aruni smiled
and said, “I really did not hope to see you on the negotiating table” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I know you were expecting Govisanaka to be here, but the
role of Govisanaka is done. He doesn’t need to be present for anything that
happens from here on”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Very well. But in our view, there is nothing left for
negotiations here”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka smiled. “There is always something worth
negotiating. I think we need not hurry to decide on what is left to negotiate.
I believe we both know we have enough time for it.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I agree, we are not pressed for time”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“We are meeting at the apt moment. For some time now, I was
trying to solve the problem of spies. Also you might agree if I say that there
are not many people with whom you and I can discuss our problems.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“The problems of spies! I believe they are the most
efficient problem solvers”, Aruni said returning the smile<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka nodded. “I agree with you on this, but what if the
spy is compromised”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“What do you mean by compromising the spy? The first thing
any king does on finding a spy or someone suspicious to be a spy, is try him
for treason and make a spectacle of his death. The inhumane way in which he is
killed both thrills the common people and sows seeds of fear so strong that
they pledge never to think of treason. That is why there are not many takers
for this profession.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I agree, but what if a spy or a chief of these spies is
identified, but not reported to the king, but is maneuvered to spread
disinformation and used to our advantage?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“That is a very risky prospective. You are suggesting to
base the politics and foreign policies of the state on one person whom you do
not completely trust, neither know where his allegiance lies. I am more
comfortable in getting all the information out of him, bring down his network
and making a spectacle of his death. I would not want to rely my plans based on
someone whom I cannot trust”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I agree, but even though it is riskier, don’t you think the
returns are high if you are able to successfully convert. Moreover how can you
trust your spy residing in the enemy country for decades, having a family
there, listening to the false propaganda against his real king? He too can be
untrustworthy and risky for the state right? ”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“You and I both know what goes into placing a spy. You would
be the last person I would have to explain the details to, but I would say with
confidence that we can trust the person who has successfully cleared the
training and our personal approval. The elite of the spies whom we trust are
not working for the king, but are working only for us. Moreover we provide for
his family’s luxuries and he knows what will happen to them even if the thought
of double-crossing comes to his mind. Personally, I would never trust your spy
even if he pledges he has changed his allegiance. I would still prefer making a
spectacle of his death rather than putting my state at risk by looking at his confidential
information.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“Yes, it is complex, I have been trying to solve this
problem for nearly a year now in vain.” He pointed towards the opening in the
camp and asked Aruni to look at the fort. He pointed towards where Yajnavalkya
was standing holding a position on the fort and said, “You believe Yajnavalkya
is your spy and I believe I successfully converted him to mine”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni felt a little uncomfortable knowing that Kalpaka knew
the identity of his spy, but he didn’t let the reaction show on his face. “I
believe our army standing by the doorstep of your fort when the main army of
yours is down south-west readying itself for a fight with Asmaka clearly tells
us whose spy Yajnavalkya is. Even if you had managed to send a message to your
army before the siege, it will take at least a month for them to come to your
rescue. But my estimation is we will be able to take this fort in a week”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka smiled “What if I told that the words coming off
your mouth confirms Yajnavalkya and Kamandaka being successfully converted by
us. Our army is there in the south-west, but what if I told you Kamandaka has
exaggerated the numbers and intent of my army based on my instructions. The
army I sent below is strong enough to rout the Vidarbhas but it is not strong
enough to threaten the Asmakas. Our intent was never to attack Asmaka”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni calmly said, “I won’t believe you. I would just
believe that you have identified our spies. It doesn’t give any indications
that you were able to convert them. Since we are talking so frankly, can you apprise me of why you are here but not in the dungeons where you were rotting for the past year?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I had to go to dungeons for you to be here. I couldn’t continue
to be the prime minister and catch you off guard. You were too good for that. I
had to change something, wherein I could see you lowering your guards. What
better way than to put Govisanaka at the helm. You had measured him long back
when you were in Takshashila with him and we both don’t have much respect for
his abilities in defining the state policies”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“So you want me to believe that the mighty Magadhan army is still
in the fort and not down south-west. Then why did you call me for the
negotiations here, you could have just allowed us to attack you and rout us in
the battlefield and fulfill the wet dreams of your king to be an <span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Ekachhatra of this land</span>. Don’t try to fool me Kalpaka.
Looking at you, I don’t see a prime minister who was ruling from the dungeons,
but I see a person starved in the dungeons for a year. You know what I believe
and is true. Your ego-centric king came under the persuasion of sycophant
ministers like Govisanaka and put you in dungeons. He was insecure about your
allegiance and was scared of your wisdom and moreover you are not good at flattery
which is scarily becoming the most important trait a king sees in his minister
these days. On seeing us in preparation of a united attack on Pataliputra, your
King came back to his senses and remembered who made him, a low born son of a
barber, a King to rule over and defeat the Kshatriyas. He came running to you
to save the state. But O Kalpaka, I am sorry to say but this time things have
gone too wrong for even you to save the king.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I would not make any comments on what you believe as it was
something which I instigated“. Kalpaka went on to explain in detail every
activity of Yajnavalkya and Kamandaka for the past two years. He explained in
details the turn of events which led them to have the meeting now. He said it
in a way that Aruni felt that his spies were converted two years ago and were
used to spread disinformation. Kalpaka hid the fact that though the spies were
identified and monitored, they were not converted. Before any attempt to
convert the spies were made, Kalpaka was thrown into the dungeons partly because of
the successful infiltration of Aruni’s spies in high offices in the Nanda
Empire. He had lost all the power to influence in the matters of state for the past year. He knew
Aruni was confident that he had won the war even before their army had reached
Pataliputra. In reality, he was correct; the war was already won, he just had to execute his plans. The only thing Kalpaka was attempting was to sow seeds of doubt in
the mind of Aruni on what he believed. Kalpaka took an educated gamble and to
prove he had successfully converted the spies revealed the attack plan which
Aruni had decided on. Yajnavalkya was a mid-ranking soldier in the Nanda army.
Based on this, Kalpaka drew an attack plan which Aruni might have thought of
through the smuggled information from Yajnavalkya. There was silence in the
camp for few minutes. Kalpaka’s confidence increased.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka broke the silence, “You ask me why I called for the
negotiations when everything was going as per my wishes. These negotiations are
to stop the war.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni sarcastically said, “Why stop the war when you were
the one who instigated it? Now don’t tell me that there is an uncontrollable
out pouring of brotherly love from you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“The negotiations are to stop this war and to start a more
profitable one down south, on the other side of the Godavari River. You and I
both know of the wealth present there beyond the Asmaka kingdom, we know of
their naval strength and weak army. If we unite under a treaty and head south,
it would be the easiest way for all our kingdoms to get wealthy and flourish.
Our influence will spread across the seas. The infightings among us has always
made us weak and vulnerable. Let us make each other strong. Not one of us have enough
resources to both head south and maintain a strong hold up here. But if we
unite there is enough wealth in the south to be shared among all of us. We have
to bind under a treaty which I have had ready, prepared during my time in the
dungeons. If you agree on it, we can stop the current conversation and start
negotiations to sketch a plan on how do we share army, wealth and under whose
command we make inroads into southern India. Also, we have to start acting on
the plans decided in another three months. We don’t have time to spare.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
“I will convey your messages to my King. We will let you
know our decisions on your proposal once we discuss it amongst us.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Kalpaka raised his voice a little and said in a clear
authoritative tone, “The message is not yet over. Tell this to the king of Vidarbha, if he doesn’t agree to our proposal and plans to unite with you guys in
this war, then our small army in the south west, which you guys think have went
to wage a war against Asmakas, will change its course and take over the Vidarbha
rajya. Even if he disagrees with the treaty and runs back, he will not have a
home to go back to as it will be taken by us and I promise him that he will
never be able to take his fort back from the Nandas. The message to the rest of
the Kings is this, you will be annihilated in this war and we would take each
of your territory, we would destroy your families, your palaces and will build
our empire on the bones of your deceased. The Nanda King will be <span style="background: white; color: #252525; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 10.5pt;">Ekachhatra and we will conquer the southern India too. If you
agree to help us, we will ride south this year as allies, else we will vanquish
you, build another army and ride south, maybe 5 years from now.</span>”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni raised, bowed a little to Kalpaka and turned to leave.
It was getting dark outside. He didn’t like how things were turning out now. He
had expected Govisanaka to be on the negotiating table, he had expected him to
make offerings of rich Magadha provinces to the Kings to avoid the war. He had
decided how he would disregard the offer and take over Pataliputra and bring
the Nanda king to his knees infront of the Panchala King. Once the fort and the
King is captured, the Nanda army would have no choice but to come under the
Panchalas. If he succeeded, he would be acclaimed as the greatest prime
minister in the history. He still did not believe Kalpaka, but he had enough
doubts to believe he was fed disinformation. Kalpaka, who was in the dungeons
for a year, magically representing Nandas, he knowing the details of every
activity that Aruni was doing had thrown him off-balance. He started doubting
his spies. But he did not want to return without a war. He had planned and
worked too hard to let it go at this point.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
In Pataliputra, in the King’s chamber, Govisanaka was
furious over Kalpaka when he came to know that he did not try to negotiate by
giving away the rich provinces of Magadha to the aggressors. Govisanaka was
convinced that the only way to avoid a war would be to give away rich provinces
of Magadha and letting Aruni know the profit he was reaping without even
shedding blood of a single soldier in exchange. Kalpaka didn’t have the
patience to explain Govisanaka why that would be considered weakness and why
Aruni would have enjoyed such diplomacy and would have started the war just on
return to his camp if he had tried to talk in that manner. He asked Govisanaka
to leave the chamber. Govisanaka felt insulted, but when Mahapadma asked him to
leave, Govisanaka left the chamber without a word. Kalpaka apprised the King of
the situation and mentioned the details of how his disciples are completing a
treaty regarding the southern invasion. He explained the details of the treaty
and the common understanding of it. He mentioned who will be the involved
parties, what will be the terms and the agreeable conditions. The King was
excited by the details of the plan and he was enthusiastic about venturing into
southern India. But he had his reservations. He asked Kalpaka, “What if they
double cross us when we are venturing towards the south?” Kalpaka replied saying
“We will cross that bridge when we come to it” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Aruni hated this part. The relaying of information to the
Kings, but more so when the news is such that it throws the current plans into
a state of indecisiveness. This was going to be a long night for Aruni. Before
he had started, earlier that day, he had convinced the Kings that he would not
agree to any of the negotiations and war is inevitable. Few of the Kings didn’t
even want Aruni to go for negotiations as they felt there was nothing to
negotiate on. The Vidarbha king was the most vociferous of all wanting to show
a low born Shudra King his right place in the society. Now, he would have to
relay the information to 6 Kings with varied level of interests in the war and
who have united to bring the Nanda ruler down. He knew the war would not happen
if he said he was unsure. He had to be sure and convince the Kings to wage the
war in spite of all the new information which has been uncovered in such small
duration. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The mention of Kalpaka representing Nanda’s caused a brief
commotion. Aruni went ahead and reported the claims of Kalpaka, regarding the
conversion of the spies, the disinformation, the brief points regarding the
attack plan, the proposal of the new treaty to be negotiated and finally the
threat directly against the Vidarbha King and generally against others. There
was silence in the camp for an extended period of time with all the kings
trying to absorb the new information. Finally, the Panchala King asked Aruni
for his opinion. Aruni said that he doubted Kalpaka’s words and he believed
that this treaty is just to keep Pataliputra and Magadha from falling. The Vidarbha
King impatiently interrupted Aruni asking, “How do we believe you now as
everything you told us till now has proved untrue. Kalpaka is still at the helm
of affairs. Weren’t you the one who had suggested that with Kalpaka being the
prime minister, we cannot take Pataliputra? With what you said, it feels like
he has trapped you while you were thinking you were trapping him and putting
him into the dungeons”. The Kasi King started, “If the army sent to the south-west
is indeed small, then we don’t have a chance to take the fort here. We will be
losing our major strength and we will not be able to defend our forts in case
we are met with a rebound attack”. Aruni again said, “I still don’t believe
this elaborate plan. Kalpaka might be a master politician, but this is
far-fetched even for him. I still would say we should prepare a newer attack
plan and attack the fort. It does not make sense to not get into the war after
we have committed so much into it”. Aruni felt that the Kings were not giving
the same attention to him as they had few hours before. After hours of intense
discussion, the kings were divided in their opinions. The Panchala and Avanti
kings sided with Aruni and agreed that they should change the attack plan and
go ahead with the war. They felt Kalpaka had bluffed through many of the
battles before and they should not trust a word uttered by him as this might
just be a ploy to save the kingdom. The Vidarbha, Kasi and Kuru kings were of
the belief that the treaty put forward by Kalpaka was a win-win situation. It
would allow them to weasel out of the war and not look bad in front of their
army or their people back home. Moreover they can follow the treaty to invade
south if it is mutually beneficial else they can break the treaties or reassess
and plan attacks when they are not in such state of confusion. The Surasena
King was about to say something when the Vidarbha king interrupted. If you are
not agreeing to negotiate on the treaty, I am afraid I would have to side my
army with the Nandas and fight against you. I can’t risk losing my home and
family and everything I care for on a war with such lapse of intelligence where
we do not even know who is the prime minister of their state. I am the most to
lose if we go for a war here and I will take a stand against you if you plan
for a war. On hearing this the Kasi and Kuru Kings who were not willing
mentioned that though they will not fight against the coalition, they will
return back to their respective kingdoms if they plan for a war. After a few
more hours of discussion, just before the dawn broke, the Panchala, Avanti Kings
and Aruni didn’t have any other choice but to reluctantly agree to make a
treaty for united invasion of the southern India.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The next two days were of intense negotiations for both
Kalpaka and Aruni. Both did not sleep for the 48 hours with their disciples
churning out a treaty beneficial for their Kings. All the Kings had their
representatives in the negotiation and all felt they reached an agreement on
the afternoon of the third day. Magadha and Panchala were supposed to take the
majority of the gains obtained from invading south as theirs were the biggest
army set to venture into the South. The Panchala military commander was
designated to lead the army into the south and it was agreed upon that they
will start their journey 3 months from now. Once the treaty was finalized,
there were celebrations for another day. Aruni tried his best to contact Yajnavalkya
or any one of his spies, but Kalpaka had taken enough precautions in the matter
and Aruni could not clear his hunch that all this was an elaborate lie just to evade
the war.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The camaraderie between the kings and the ministers in the
past three days was exceptional. It didn’t feel like there was a war averted
here, but felt like old friends meeting to celebrate their next planned joint
venture together. The people of Magadha and armies on both the sides were left
baffled by the turn of events but were happy nonetheless. On seeing the enemy
armies returning, a legend started to spread in Pataliputra saying “Kalpaka was
the war god himself in the form of human on whose sight the enemy ran away”.
Kalpaka loathed the fickle mindedness of the common people. A year ago the same
people had cheered when he was taken to the dungeons and flung stones and filth
at him. They had called him corrupt, greedy, unlawful while welcoming the new
minister as though he would bring the much needed prosperity into their lives.
Now they compare him to a demi god.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The day after the armies returned from Pataliputra’s fort,
Kalpaka urged the King to send a messenger to his army in the South West. Ask
the commander to first kill Kamandaka and retreat back prepared for a war.
Meanwhile we will follow the retreating armies here and send regular message to
our army regarding where to retreat and intercept King Panchala and his united
armies. We will annihilate them for thinking of taking over Pataliputra. We
will then take over their Kingdoms and you can become the Ekachhatra of
Bharath. The King was surprised, “so we don’t hold our end of the treaty, wont
we venture towards southern India.” Kalpaka just said “No”. The Magadhan army
intercepted the unaware army under Panchala and destroyed them. The Kings were taken
by surprise and were already fighting a losing battle when they realized the
treachery of the Nanda King. The army was annihilated and all the 6 kings along
with Aruni were killed in the battle. With this victory, Mahapadma Nanda, laid
the foundation to establish the first great North Indian Empire with its
political centre in Magadha, which would in the following years lead to the
largest empire in Indian Subcontinent built by the Mauryas.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The King planned to depose Govisanaka and reinstate Kalpaka
back as the prime minister. Kalpaka refused the offer and shared his desire to
go live as a monk with few of his disciples in Takshashila University. The King
agreed to the request and bid his goodbye to a Guru who had made him, a son of
barber to an Ekachhatra of Bharath. Kalpaka had made him a King, he now had
saved his Kingdom and made him a true “Chakravartin”. He was indebted to
Kalpaka and wanted to show his thankfulness. Kalpaka declined the gifts showered
on him along with the titles conferred to him by the King. He saw the indebted
King on his knees and remembered the same King indebted to the same Guru 2
decades ago in similar way, but still throwing him in the dungeons when he did
not flatter the King enough as much as the other ministers. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Kalpaka started his long journey with few of his disciples
from Magadha to Takshashila. In the background he could hear the sycophantic
voices screaming as loudly as possible “Long live the King, May the King live
forever, May the kingdom flourish forever”. He wagered against one of his
disciples saying that the King and his kingdom will not last for another 10
years. The kingdom will be taken over and the King will be deposed by another ambitious
young lad under tutelage of another learned man. After many years of
prosperity, the learned man will be either killed or deposed either by the
young lad or his son or his relatives. Once again people will forget about
Kalpaka and Mahapadma. They will remember the new king and the new minister
till another one arrives. History will repeat itself. Kings might not live
forever, Kingdoms might not flourish forever, but the politics of power, the
diplomacy of deception and the stupidity of the common people are something
which will remain in this land forever and ever.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "georgia" , "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: start;">The Map used in the blog is courtesy of: </span><a class="external_link external_link_tooltip" data-tooltip="attached" href="http://www.worldhistorymaps.info/maps.html" rel="nofollow" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: url(data:image/gif; background-origin: initial; background-position: 100% 5px; background-repeat: no-repeat; background-size: initial; color: #2b6dad; font-family: Georgia, Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; padding-right: 12px; position: relative; text-align: start; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">World History Maps by Thomas Lessman</a></div>
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<span style="background-color: #ead1dc;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: 13.5240001678467px; line-height: 18.9335994720459px;"><span style="font-size: 13.5240001678467px;">The <b>fellow Blog-a-Tonics</b> who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective <b>posts</b> can be checked <a href="http://www.blogaton.in/2015/05/blogaton54.html"><b>here</b></a>. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following <b><a href="http://blogaton.in/">Blog-a-Ton</a></b>. Participation Count: 03</span></span></span></div>
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lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-70548601199178153152013-12-01T10:16:00.000-08:002018-08-29T17:43:12.854-07:00Love in the air<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<blockquote>
This post has been published by me as a part of the <b>Blog-a-Ton 44</b>; the forty-fourth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following <a href="http://blogaton.in/"><b>Blog-a-Ton</b></a>.
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I got up from the doctor's clinic slightly dazed. The information confirmed by her was difficult to digest. The past week I was hoping against hopes that what my earlier doctor had diagnosed was wrong. But this second opinion just shattered my fragile hope. We were trying to have a baby for a year now, it was one thing at this juncture of my life I looked forward to, but the doctor's confirmation came as a rude shock. She said I could never have a baby of my own. Seeing me break down in front of her, she suggested there are other ways through which parenthood can be enjoyed. I didn't react to her words, but the pain which I felt inside my heart was unbearable. I put the report in my bag and walked half consciously to my car and I drove home. I didn't know how she would take the news, this would break her. The whole way to my house I was thinking of ways in which this news could be told to her so that she would not feel broken. I knew her well enough for the past 5 years to know she would not let her grief show and would be a positive force in my life as she always was till now. She would know this news has impacted me far more and would take care of me. I was thinking artificial insemination would be the best option as I would not want to rob her of having her blood in the kid and I would love the kid as much as I love her mother. I was comforting myself all along the way.</div>
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As I entered, my wife greeted me with a gleaming smile. I felt the smile was a bit awkward, but seeing her happy somewhat lightened the burden I felt. She brought me a customary glass of water, sat near me and announced out of the blue that she was pregnant. I entered a state of shock, I didn't know how to react. I think several seconds had passed with me in that state, she touched my shoulder and asked what happened. My eyes were filled with tears, she moved closer to embrace me and I hugged her while I couldn't stop the flow of tears. I tried to act happy, but the sinking feeling was too strong. I had lost my appetite. I made an excuse of stomach upset, skipped dinner and straight away hit the bed. In the evening, I had felt the day could not have been worse, but fate intended to prove me wrong. I felt like crying loudly, but I muffled my cry biting the pillow. Outside, I could hear she was on the phone, but I didn't feel like getting up from the bed even to eavesdrop. I got a feeling from the inside of my being that the worst time of my life is about to start.</div>
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This was the darkest night ever in my life. I knew I had lost my sleep, but I feared leaving the bed. The thoughts in my head were so many and they changed so rapidly that I was in fear of losing my mind. At one point, I somewhat made up my mind to just go and confront her, then I thought what if the doctors were wrong, both of them. Then again I would realize how irrational that was. An hour passed and she came to bed, I didn't move and pretended to be asleep. There were too many thoughts passing through my head. I started to wonder and guess who the person could be. I started imagining her with her friends, her colleagues, my friends. It was driving me nuts. I thought I should break up with her immediately and spare myself from the torture. But I very well knew, the torture would not end just by ending the relationship. Then I had an even scarier thought, she breaking with me. I didn't know how I would react to that. What if the real father was married and in the same position as her, then there would be no break up, it would be best for all the parties involved to maintain the status quo. If only I hadn't gone to the doctor's, then maybe I would have been truly happy this night rather than burning in this misery. I would be looking forward to be a father than knowing my wife is a cheater. The ignorant truly are the ones that can be happier.</div>
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Another hour passed with me and my nightmarish thoughts, I was suffocating. I felt an immediate urge to get out and get some fresh air. I got my cellphone and the keys and headed straight out the door. I couldn't stay still and started walking fast aimlessly. The images which formed in my head were unbearable. I went into a shop and brought a cigarette pack and lit one there. My hands were shaking and I felt the cigarette would help me get some control over it. I had never smoked after my college, but I felt the cigarette helped. It calmed me down and I could manage myself a little. I went into a park and sat on the bench. I imagined the worst images graphically, I imagined my wife and the other person laughing hard on how they made a fool out of me. I imagined my wife having sex with another man and it broke me. I had a feeling of vengeance in my heart. I wanted to hurt her as she was hurting me. I remembered my ex-girlfriend who had professed that she still loved me, though I was married. I had always maintained a distance from her, but at this moment I just wanted to go to her and be with her. I went through my contact list and called her. She picked up the call after couple of rings. She was not in town, she felt happy to have received my call, she mentioned that she will be out of town for another six months and she looked forward to meet me. When I returned home, it was breaking dawn, I had smoked the whole pack of cigarette and must have been smelling like ash. I went for shower as I entered and took a long shower. I left home before she woke up. I was the first one at office, though I doubt if I can get anything done today.</div>
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The days are passing by and things almost seems so normal except for that it isn't. Each passing day is difficult and the nights are laborious. Though nowadays I mostly have spite towards my wife, sometimes I cant suppress the love I feel for her. There is this weird urge in me that wants to take care of her in-spite of all the things that has transpired. I am not my previous self and I am sure she must have noticed that, but she is extra loving and caring towards me nowadays as if she is guilt ridden. By how it seems to me, I think the affair has also come to an end. Thankfully she has not come clean on this asking me forgiveness, I would have hated her more for passing on the guilt by trying to come out clean. In the past few days there have been many times I wanted to confront, but when I thought through it, felt that the outcome of confrontation will not bring me any peace or comfort, hence left it at that. Love like any other emotion, be it happiness, jealousy, anger or envy is neither permanent, nor can be forced. It comes and leaves as per its wishes, just like a speck of dust in the air carried by the wind and settling temporarily anywhere. Also felt that I could be a father, if I stayed. The days passing, though difficult are reducing my heartache. The other night we had sex, at least started having sex the first time after she broke the news. Lust had taken over and we were in the middle of it when suddenly the graphic images of she with someone else made me sweat and go soft. What surprised me was that she reacted as if she understood my pain perfectly well and she hugged me and slept hugging me. I loved the way she hugged me. In fact I loved a lot many things of my wife. But it immensely hurts to know what I know.</div>
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Six months had passed by and my ex girlfriend called me as she was back in town. She asked me to meet, but I made an excuse and got out of it. Somehow the vengeance I wanted to take on my wife by cheating on her was fleeting. Somehow the feeling that I was made a joke and am laughed around by my wife was going away. I didn't feel cheating would help my mental state in any way now. I had made a decision to stick by my wife and my to be born kid. The past six months, though the worst of my life, it would be a lie if I told, I didn't feel any love towards my wife or if I didn't feel the love back. Now I know its not permanent and it is fragile, but if I get out of this, there is no guarantee that I would find a perfect one, so I plan to find some love and happiness in the one I am in. It feels as though if you are stronger mentally, then your chance of finding happiness is a bit more in any kind of shitty situation you might be in.</div>
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Two years pass by and we three are in the same park, my daughter in my arms and my wife close by. There is an engine backfire and my daughter grabs me in a tight embrace, I love the way she wraps around me. I don't know what will happen tomorrow, but today my daughter does love me more than anything in her world. Anybody seeing us from outside would feel we are the happiest family around and they are not wrong in their assessment. I can agree wholeheartedly and completely with them that, Today I might be one of the happiest and luckiest man to have such a wonderful wife and a lovely daughter. At-least for today, Love is in the air all around me.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDHGkcW8GXit8R_1Ae7vMdgZVDCHQDuYW_lxrAf5DUQTTYlzvxdenhSRIEWfk5wp0qmjbSzNu2uEl6kqYczregTDgifSuX9VjK_Pdal9n9LgY1ZFmZS-NlrwlLRpS_XmJfnfNtRYESw/s1600/Inspiring+Couple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDHGkcW8GXit8R_1Ae7vMdgZVDCHQDuYW_lxrAf5DUQTTYlzvxdenhSRIEWfk5wp0qmjbSzNu2uEl6kqYczregTDgifSuX9VjK_Pdal9n9LgY1ZFmZS-NlrwlLRpS_XmJfnfNtRYESw/s200/Inspiring+Couple.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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The <b>fellow Blog-a-Tonics</b> who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective <b>posts</b> can be checked <a href="http://www.blogaton.in/2013/11/blogaton44.html"><b>here</b></a>. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following <b><a href="http://blogaton.in/">Blog-a-Ton</a></b>. Participation Count: 02</blockquote>
<b>Credits </b>
Image - <i><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPDHGkcW8GXit8R_1Ae7vMdgZVDCHQDuYW_lxrAf5DUQTTYlzvxdenhSRIEWfk5wp0qmjbSzNu2uEl6kqYczregTDgifSuX9VjK_Pdal9n9LgY1ZFmZS-NlrwlLRpS_XmJfnfNtRYESw/s1600/Inspiring+Couple.jpg">Love in the air</a></i> by <i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/AppleBlossomsPhotoGraphy">Anand</a></i>
Courtesy - <i><a href="https://www.facebook.com/AppleBlossomsPhotoGraphy">Apple Blossom's Photography</a></i> via <i><a href="http://www.blogaton.in/">www.blogaton.in</a></i></div>
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lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-15922026568830347392012-03-31T17:18:00.002-07:002018-08-29T17:43:12.816-07:00That Last Night<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote>This post has been published by me as a part of the <b>Blog-a-Ton 26</b>; the 26th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following <a href="http://blogaton.in/"><b>Blog-a-Ton</b></a>. The topic for this month is 'That Last Night'.</blockquote></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Does it happen with everyone sometimes, that you know you have to do something but your mind just doesn’t allow your body to do that? I know my work here is done; I should just get off this bridge and wait. But I am unable even to get up. No, I am not physically hurt. I am perfectly fine, but instead of getting off the bridge, I am narrating this stuff. I have been having nightmares from past few months. I am not even sure of the reason for this. Everything is going good in my life. By the lords grace I have been doing the righteous things all throughout my life. I have always been sure of my destiny and my beliefs. That is the reason for what I am today, that is the reason for the love I am getting from my people. That is the reason for my existence. This wretched sense of doom, I am not sure why my lord is making me go through this, but who has the power to understand his will completely. I have lived by the book and have been as virtuous and as righteous as any human can possibly be. I have become so revered by the people, for my courage and efforts to protect the righteous from the hideous that I have children all over the world named after me. It is not that I am attached to any kind of fame. It is my duty to protect the weak and fight against the corrupt evil forces. I have been fairly successful in my efforts and am loved so much because of it, but I am not attached to any of this. For the past eight years I have never worried even of death because death would just send me to heaven, the abode of the lord.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">When I was young, I loved the warmth of the morning sun. The rays fell softly inside my room. Whenever I was on bed and the bright sunlight woke me, I knew I was moments away from my mom pushing me out of bed to get ready for school. I never thought about it then, but it was one of the most pleasurable things in the world, my mom waking me up for school. Though I didn’t much like school, I liked my mom cajoling and waking me up. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">The river beneath the bridge is gleaming and shining under the beautiful full moon. It is wide, deep and doesn’t seem to end on both sides of the bridge. I don’t much like being alone with nature, I feel unsure and maybe scared. I would have loved to talk to my mom and get reassurances from her, but she is no more with me to comfort my uneasiness. Though I would say she has shown me the direction out of which I have paved my way of life and could reach the juncture on which I am now. I would not have reached these heights and gained so much of acclaim in the community if she hadn’t instilled the right belief structure in me.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I remember sitting on the beach with my uncle one day and being overwhelmed by nature. My uncle used to say, if the whole universe was as big as the beach, then relatively we are as insignificant and equal to a speck of sand. No, actually he had said earth was a speck of sand in the beach and he had asked me to think of how small and insignificant humans are in the nature’s plan of things. I didn’t show any emotion in front of him, but on hearing it I think I got scared. I was very young then. I couldn’t sleep properly that night. I am not sure why but I hated what he told, it made me very much unsure of things.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">Later I went to my mom’s room and wriggled in beside her. She had not slept yet. I was scared and I asked her about us being so insignificant in nature. Then I had the best conversation of my life. She told how wrong my uncle was and how he is going to hell for spreading all these lies. She told me how the earth was made and how we were center of the universe, of how we had pre-determined destiny and how we would go to hell and heaven, about what these heaven and hell are, what they do to people in hell and about the path to heaven by living righteously as per the book. From what all I heard that day, I knew I had control on things, I was in control and there was a plan for each and every human. I was not as insignificant as my uncle told. I knew how to live; I also knew how I will be judged. I was reassured in the meaning of life. I slept well. I should say it gave me beliefs and made me stronger. It just removed the weight of uncertainty off my shoulders. Now I was certain, I was certain of reaching heaven. When the path is shown so clearly, achieving it just becomes a question of character and perseverance of the individual.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">That conversation feels like a long back now. I have lived a virtuous and pious life. Still this incident which took place few months back, though I know I did the right thing and I don’t have an iota of remorse for what I did, It is giving me a horrible feeling of doom.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">I remember as if it was yesterday, I was visiting this place on one of my work related trips. I was staying in a popular tourist hotel. In the evening while taking a stroll, I came across a stand-up act in the banquet hall of the same hotel. I went in hoping for few good laughs. But that wretched soul was just talking corrupt things polluting the minds of the people sitting in the hall for some cheap laughs. I saw them laughing at his jokes whether they agreed or not, they just didn’t want to be left out is what I think. I was about to leave with a bad feeling in my heart for what the world was turning into, that is the time he started to talk about my beliefs.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">That evil wretched animal didn’t have anything sacred in his life. He made fun of everything that I believed to be sacred, around which my life, death and each of my breath revolved. The profane creature compared the grossest of the things to the pure and sacred holy things which I and all my people believed in. I was outraged, I could not contain myself. After his show, I followed him to his room. I slid into his room before the door closed behind him. He was surprised to see me inside and was about to ask me something, but I couldn’t contain the building rage in me and hit him hard on his face. He rolled onto the ground. Before he could collect himself again, I hit him hard again and shoved the half conscious piece of shit onto the armchair. I was going berserk with anger and was muttering how wretched and horrible his soul has become, how if he could not spread virtue or righteousness among the people, he had no right to pollute them and how he had no right to live. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">In my rage, I must have been muttering loudly on how the beliefs and faith has built people, gave them reason to live and performed miracles, of how sacred it is and how it needs to be protected against profane creatures like him. How could he dare insult the sanctity and sacredness of my faith. My rage hadn’t had subdued and the bleeding shit hearing my angry words turned his lips into a smirk and asked me, “You think your beliefs and your faith is true, you possibly can’t know it for sure and the world has so many people with so many different beliefs. All of it can’t be true. If yours is true you are lucky, if theirs is true, you are fucked my friend, you are badly fucked and that too for an eternity”. He didn’t know when to shut up, he must have been thinking he still is on the stage and was being funny. I couldn’t take more of his shit. The rage just took over me and I slit his throat with the knife lying on the table and I did that in a flash. I couldn’t stay there for long. I had to abort my work plans; I called my contacts and got out of that country and back. </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">This incident has remained with me throughout. It is not that I am remorseful. I am pretty sure I am not. I don’t think his last words also have much effect, but there is a sensation of doom which has slowly sunk in to me and I am not motivated for our cause anymore. I am not able to be as motivated as before. My work in the past eight years was so glorious that I was too precious for my leaders and I have been the chief planner for our various achievements. I have been off the field for two years now. I was too important to be risked in an on field job. But today I wanted to be here and I am here against my leaders will. I have done everything as per the plan. I have planted enough explosives to take down the bridge. I have wired it perfectly. I just have to wait for the train to come close enough so that there is no way the driver can stop the train before the fall. Now I just have to get off the bridge and wait for the train. I can detonate the bombs using the wireless remote as far as a kilometer. But it looks like I don’t have control over my body anymore. I am sitting motionless on the track and I am unable to move out to safety. I can hear the noise of the approaching train. I have just given up trying to move. Now I think I will wait for the train right here and blow up the bridge when the train is near enough. The approaching train is close enough now. It has entered the point of no return zone. I have to just press this button. The time has come. May the powerful almighty take me in his abode.</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;"><i>Next day in Newspapers: Terrorist’s plan to blow the bridge foiled. The dead terrorist remains unidentified. Explosives laden around the tracks have been taken into custody by the police. The investigation is ongoing and the police are unsure why the bombs didn’t explode. The police suspect that the plan failed as the train hit the terrorist before he could press the button on the remote.</i></div></div></div><div style="text-align: justify;"><blockquote>The <b>fellow Blog-a-Tonics</b> who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective <b>posts</b> can be checked <a href="http://www.blogaton.in/2012/03/rules-and-reminder-for-blog-ton-26.html"><b>here</b></a>. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following <b><a href="http://blogaton.in/">Blog-a-Ton</a>.</b></blockquote></div><br />
</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-65891405898998646132011-05-30T04:31:00.000-07:002011-05-30T04:42:55.266-07:00Fear !!!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div style="text-align: justify;">Every single person's life is what it is because of fear. Fear shapes our life to what it is today. It moulds our lives. It fogs our minds with so many issues that we give importance to our current actions of fortifying ourselves from being engulfed by the fear. Fear of poverty makes us earn. Fear of powerlessness makes us involved in the society. Fear of loneliness gives us the need of a flock of people agreeable around us. Fear of failing health makes us eat healthy, exercise. Fear of anonimity makes us to do something to put our name against. Fear of societal shame make us keep/have secrets. Fear of being left alone make us to belong to a certain group, supporting the group. Fear of losing love, makes us to change ourselves to suit the best for being loved. Fear, Is this the driving force of our society, our culture. Is this the most essential entity for us to live. What would be life without fear ? Scary, to even imagine. Fear of being ridiculed, make us stop imagining and start living the traditional/cultural usual way.</div></div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-72247922948076317152010-02-23T22:35:00.000-08:002010-02-24T01:43:07.903-08:0055-Fiction : Changing goals<div align="justify">Being pushed down, passed around, kicked hard isn’t bad until there is some goal. There will be obstacles taking us away from the goal to yet another different goal, making us lose vision of the previous goal. Still I am confused, if I should feel happy reaching any of the goals, being a football myself.</div><div align="justify"> </div><div align="justify"></div><div align="justify">(Looks like the 55-fiction bug has bit me bad. Will start with my regular rants soon :) :D)</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-67260142873200408352010-02-11T05:34:00.000-08:002010-02-11T06:02:07.093-08:00My First 55-Fiction : On a MoveMy first attempt at 55 Fiction. Do leave back your thoughts as comments.<br /><br /><br /><div align="center"><em>On a Move</em></div><div align="justify"><br />The world seems to be moving. I don’t like it. I always like to move forward. But here, I feel everything is moving backwards. I need to do something; I could not let this continue. Then I swap seats with my mom sitting in-front, in the cabin of the moving train. Hmmm... This is relaxing.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-37405634372738870002010-01-31T09:26:00.000-08:002010-01-31T09:28:10.803-08:00Pointless<div align="justify">Life as we know is so pointless. We never know what the purpose of living it is, there is no possibility of finding it too. We never know what we want out of living it. We never know where we will end up. But we always have a perspective of living it and we believe in it. Some believe life is going and getting all the things, the world can possibly provide for us, and that is what could be called as success. Others feel life is more fulfilling when lived for others, making others happy, enjoying in their smiles. Honestly speaking I too have spent an incredible amount of time thinking about this mystery called life. I always reach to a different conclusion each time and each of the conclusions I arrive on is totally fulfilling. I could conclude in totally opposite ways on two different days and be totally convinced with my conclusions on the respective days. So I could just say that life is an entity which gives you so many possibilities that you can be striving to live a totally fulfilled life in a certain way but the other person with a different perspective could conclude you as a complete loser for even choosing that way. Life could be lived in so many dimensions and a lifetime is not enough to live your life completely in that dimension. It is the same as you can spend a life time studying the smallest of the smallest things like an atom or history of a place or a certain kind of animal, you can spend a lifetime studying about your respective subject, but you still can always find possibilities for learning more, unearthing more. So I can say life too provides us with so many possibilities that a lifetime is not enough to enjoy and live the possibility we have chosen. Then again we have confusion whether we just have to savor a single possibility so much when we know how much ever we live it, it still seems incomplete or could we just try out all the different possibilities and savor each one of them a little. Answering this also seems to be impossibly difficult as there is not a perfectly correct or wrong thing in life and if there is one it also should be defined humanely. And you never can be for sure that what they say as the ultimate truth. Actually if we think more into this we can also say there is nothing as absolute here. Everything is so relative and so unsure.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-33195617078306255052010-01-21T09:30:00.001-08:002015-05-10T23:33:05.942-07:00Beliefs<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I had some thoughts on philosophy these days. I should say this is not the first time such thoughts are going through my mind, but why am I pouring out the thoughts here now? That is because this time I somehow feel, my thoughts does make some sense. You guys are totally free to disagree.<br />
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So firstly, why did these thoughts pass through my head? Quite recently I heard from my mom about an incident. I should tell you this kind of an incident is not very unique and I am sure each one of us might have come across such incidents which might be totally co-incidental. But still we would never want to believe it as co-incidental and would give some special meaning to it and rightly so, because we never know it might have some special meaning attached to it. So the incident which took place here is: one of my relatives, he is a staunchest of believers in God and has been doing loads of poojas for years, on one particular morning recently when he was going on with his shlokas and poojas, there is one shloka regarding Lord Narayana it seems and after he finished the chanting as he turned around or something he saw a garuda (the vehicle of the lord) sitting on the compound wall of his house (He stays in Bangalore, so I should say this is not an everyday scene or maybe any day scene in bangalore). He was very much overwhelmed and had this unexplainable happiness in him because this had lots of hidden meanings to him which I and you might find irrelevant. I should say this must have been a special incident for him and he might have got so many messages through this highly improbable occurrence (of the lord’s vehicle perching on his compound when he was just praying to the Lord).<br />
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At this point I should say I am a confused soul regarding these kinds of questions, which according to the current philosophers makes me an agnostic. But the above incident made me think. It kind of gave me a solution. Again as I am an agnostic, I still am skeptical of even this solution, which is I am not a complete believer of this theory. But I somehow liked this thought.<br />
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This universe may be a place where in if you really believe (or not believe) in something then the world conspires to make you believe in your assumptions. It doesn’t matter if you believe in God, religion, or science, or if you don’t believe in God, you will always get many pretty good reasons to believe in your beliefs (or non beliefs). It is something like; maybe our mind has some connection with the outside world and the beliefs in our mind do have some thing to do with the way things actually work. We start to observe things based on our beliefs and we find many interconnections, many meanings and truth in each of our beliefs. This maybe the reason for so many varying different beliefs, school of thoughts to co-exist and so many fanatics to believe their beliefs as the only existing truth unable to look beyond their point of view.<br />
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In science also there have been so many assumptions made to give us amazing solutions based on little facts, like if something holds for a verifiable thing we can use the same formula for something non verifiable, we put the data in the formula and determine things.<br />
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So based on the small fact which I mentioned before, (that is my relative seeing the garuda after the pooja), I can assume many of the beliefs in the history also could very well be true like the idol of Shri Krishna turning after being pleased by Kanakadasa’s worship. I don’t know but sometimes, in some way, things happen that enforces our beliefs. It’s like the world outside becomes what we truly, firmly believe from inside. It just enforces our beliefs, though no two beliefs might be the same. That is different varying beliefs can totally co-exist and there is a chance that though the beliefs are variant or opposing to each other may very well be true. Maybe this universe has that kind of power or magic. Just maybe.</div>
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lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-79223703841142346202010-01-17T23:05:00.000-08:002010-01-17T23:08:10.175-08:00Bliss....<div align="justify">"Life is not the amount of breaths you take; it's the moments that take your breath away." Had heard this and variations of this kind of quote many a times and also had liked it then. Just wanted to update the blog saying, I had few similar kind of moments this weekend of which I can re-live every second and re-living each second of it just gives me so much bliss that I love it. I realized some of the things in the way my heart and mind works after that. The smallest of the things can get etched in your heart and can become so personal, beautiful and blissful. The memories become like an inseparable entity in your life, It becomes like a few pages in a photo album or a book which you love re-reading and every time you see it or re-read it you find something new to feel happy about, good about. I don’t know how this works, but just closing my eyes and remembering one single moment, a smile, a glint in the eyes, a glance will just take me to a different kind of phase; it brings smile and joy aplenty. It surely is most pleasurable. It has happened before that a certain kind of music or fragrance takes us into a different mode, makes us nostalgic, sometimes even without our knowledge, even without us deliberately thinking about it. I guess that’s because we had such strong bond of that moment that we unknowingly have carried on something of and from that moment with us forever. Hmmm, isn’t it beautiful, becoming blissfully happy just closing your eyes. I sure can say it is as I am experiencing it right now.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-74298527703548509952009-12-31T22:43:00.000-08:002010-01-01T04:48:52.097-08:00Happy New Year 2010<p align="justify">Happy New Year 2010 to all you guys out there. Hope this year brings you all the luck and fulfills all your wishes. Have a very Happy New Year 2010. </p><p align="justify">I really dont have any topic to write on in this post apart from conveying my wishes to all you guys out there. Some how these years rolling by is making me feel that I am growing old and still not knowing what I want out of my life does make me feel a bit confused. 10 years ago I was in my Xth std, preparing for my board exams. Now a decade has passed since that. Decade, seems pretty long time. Yeah it is. </p><p align="justify">Hmmm.. Anyways also wanted to write about this guy. This guy whom I see every single day, while riding to office. He stands in one of the busiest traffic signals and sells or maybe tries to sell hats made of jute. The hats are really stupid in design, no offence but they are, They are like the old hats worn by Gavaskar, the only difference he would wear a white one and this was made of jute, it also had stripes in between which divided the hat in triangles. It could be folded to a single triangle if you fold it on those lines. It needed to be tied around the neck. Everyday I see him wearing one of the hats and having a bunch of them in his hand nicely folded in triangles. I have stood so many days in the signal (en-route to office, mind you) observing him, but i didnt even see a single customer remotely interested in buying those hats, leave alone bargaining or talking to him. But day after day, he is there. He always wears a full sleeve crisply ironed shirt and a formal trousers neatly ironed. Most of the days he wears a brown shoe and he always has this stupid hat on his head. He cuts through the vehicles standing in the signal showing them the hats. </p><p align="justify">I always wanted to say to him "Come on, that kind of a hat could work in some tourist destination in Goa or something but how could you possibly imagine of selling them in a busy bustling traffic signal when everyone just want to reach to their place of work in a hurry." </p><p align="justify">I wanted to say this to him, but then, seeing his attire I felt he could maintain it only if he could sell those hats pretty well or if he had some side business. Now selling the hat is out of question cos there are simply no buyers, Come on the hats are simply stupid for anyone to buy. So what kind of business could this road side well dressed hat vendor have ? Hmmm .. I thought and came out with 2 options straight away. He must either be a spy, they call as informer, working for the police and informing them the details of dunno what and about you know who (Not Voldermort, the bad guys). Thats such a cool thing, ain't it? Everyday while i pull my lazy ass out of the bed and go to office to act like working on something. He, in the guise of a hat vendor, doing some hard core on field job for the cops, Man ... aint his job interesting ? Or he could be one of the bad guys, but I still couldnt figure how would he be of help being a bad guy and selling hats in a signal. </p><p align="justify">Pretty interesting theory, aint it ? Ok Enough of joblessness on the first day of the new year. I will get back to doing nothing and you guys, if any of you stumbled on this and did read till here get back to do something meaningful. Anyways wishing you all guys a wonderful wonderful wonderful new year 2010. </p>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-10214370846694138542009-11-12T23:54:00.000-08:002010-01-01T04:04:17.953-08:00The Innova "Guy"<div align="justify">This incident happened in Bangalore, It happened about 2 years ago and I really felt kind of embarrassed to tell this incident to any of my friends, it was nowhere my fault that the things turned out that way, but still it is one of the embarrassing incidents that occurred to me. Just after the incident, I told this to one of my friends we lovingly call "Humba" meaning the wise guy :P. And hearing him laugh I decided I won’t become the centre of the joke again by narrating to the rest of them. But still continuing with my promise of writing as much nonsense possible in my blog, I am narrating this incident.<br />Hmmm.. It was around 2 years ago and I had been in a software company for around a year then. I used to travel by bus and I really hated commuting. I used to walk kilometers sometimes because I felt it was better than the buses, there were no much Volvos then and the normal buses moving in our routes were filled till the last footstep of the footboard. The plan would be to get your foot on the footboard and something to hold, In the coming stops as the bus moved you would automatically be pushed in, During this commotion if you lose your cell phone, you shouldn’t complain because if you try to save it you would be out of the bus, I have lost more than a couple of them in a similar manner and I really don’t have any qualms about it, at least I reached home in one piece.<br />This incident too took place while I was on my daily round of adventure, which others also call as reaching home safely. It was around 8 pm, I had made a detour and had come via jaynagar 4th block to the jaydeva stop (buses are relatively empty if I come in this route). My house is around 5 kms from here and there are lot many buses but usually jam packed at that time during the evening. I just reached the stop and it started to drizzle. It was a light drizzle so no one was running for cover. As I waited for the bus, a thought passed that the bus would be totally packed, it is normal and I didn’t mind, but now maybe packed with drenched people if the rain picks up. When I was lost in my thoughts, a middle aged, smartly dressed person approached me and asked me where is the sundarram shetty crossing there near arekere. It was totally near my house. I knew the place, I gave him the correct directions, It was quite easy, just a straight road and a left turn where the IIMB compound ends that’s as straight forward as possible for any person, but not for him, he looked confused, out of the blue he asked where are you going. I told the same way. He suggested he would give a lift so that he too won’t miss the cross. I thought that was not a bad idea, I assumed he had a bike and nodded in affirmative, but he said he had parked his car a little away, I was about to change my mind, but then, to my bad luck, the rain picked up, thinking of the bus and my cell phone, I couldn't say no. I moved towards his innova, but in my mind, I was thinking whatever is happening is a bit out of the normal. No stranger has been so nice to me for no reason in Bangalore. I would like to believe I started to think like the Robert De Niro's character in Ronin (one of my fav action movies). Look for the exits and plan your exits before entering anything you are not 100% comfortable with. As i neared the car, I memorized the regn no. (I was not sure why that would have been required after I was cut into a 1000 pieces), the window were not tinted, gave me a little more confidence. Once I reached the car, I checked if any more people were in the car, if they were, I had decided, I would just back out. But then there was no one so safe there too. I measured how will I stand in a one on one fight with that guy. It could be an even fight and I didn’t mind that. So I got into the front seat, placed my laptop bag on my lap. I was also mentally prepared that if he deviates from the route or if he stops to pick anyone I would be out of the car in a whiff whether it’s moving or not. I was prepared for anything mentally and was looking forward for the adventure. But what happened next was a complete different story.<br />I was in the front seat, with the window half down as it was still raining, but ever prepared to jump off the car if he removed a gun, a sword or maybe a chloroform laced kerchief. I was ready for anything. But then we started to talk. He asked what I was into, he was quite surprised on hearing me working and felt like I looked like a college kid to which I thought if I had only lost one more subject in my sixth semester, I may as well would be in college then. But that was not to be, so I was here working in Bangalore. He told he was someone related to modeling industry or the movie business. He said he was going to meet some Zulfi Syed or someone for a party and he was the one who introduced zulfi to the modeling industry, I said good for him and good for you, but I didn’t know who any of them were. Then I had the most uncomfortable conversation I ever had in my life. He asked me who my favorite actor is, never had a stranger asked that question when we were having a small talk. I tried to be graceful as I always was and went on with Amir Khan, Tom Hanks and Sean Connery. He went on to say yeah they are good actors, don’t you like any young actors, he rephrased the question asking which actor's body did I like. I was caught totally off guard, how anybody could reply to this. And as any normal guy, I gave him a weird look asking what kind of a question is this. He understood, He clarified saying since he was in the modeling business the question was that and I shouldn’t get him wrong. I had already got him wrong, but was trying to be civil to a middle aged, half bald, huge paunch guy who was trying to hit on me. Never was I in this kind of a situation but I felt it was quite funny in a weird way. So I went ahead and took the challenge and tried to be as graceful as ever in this horrible situation and come out unscathed of it. I replied, I surely would like female actor's body more than men but maybe akshay Kumar or Matt damon or Brad pitt have the kind of physique which I would like myself to have. To this he replied I looked similar to Matt, I laughed as i knew myself better than that. To this he persisted that he was not joking, I was not sure if I was laughing on this guy or the comment. He said if I was interested in the modeling business, I said no I was happy in my job and thought at least I don’t have to meet people like you in there. I was just looking on the road, seeing how far we were from the destination, we were in the Bilekahalli traffic, our destination was just a kilometer away and I was thankful for that. He had decided he would test me to the limit that day. He asked me if I would join the party they were having. I firmly declined, I didn’t have any interest whatsoever what he and his fellow friends planned to do. He later asked me if I worked out. At that point I wasn’t even replying properly just waiting for my destination. I said no to which he said I surely looked like a person who works out. I had not taken so much crap in a conversation the whole of my life. I didn’t react, then he tried to touch my arms, it seems to feel the muscles, I flinched and gave him a look and if lasers would have been implanted in my eyes, he would have been burnt. I could have punched him if he was not driving, but then I just asked him to stop the car, we had almost reached the destination. I told take the next left and go wherever you want. He tried to explain something that he was in the modeling business and hence it was his area kinds but I was not interested. I just walked on to my home. I was totally angry at that moment, but the next moment felt it was quite funny that this kind of a weird incident happened.<br />The first thing I did was to call "Humba" to tell what happened and that miserable ass was laughing like that was the best day of his life. At that moment I decided, this incident is not worth narrating. I don’t remember the guys face, but whenever I remember the incident I remember the "Miscousi" guy who meets scotty and friends in the train In the movie "Euro trip". Miscousi Miscousi :).</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-83612406219369402552009-11-09T11:39:00.001-08:002010-01-01T04:05:06.121-08:00The "Guay" (Cashew) tree :)<div align="justify">I am starting with better topics now on as promised in my previous post. Better for me is some meaningless, reasonless thing which wont make any sense to the reader. So, in this post I will be writing one such incident which is very close to my heart. I have shared it with many of my friends, and all those heartless terrible people who call themselves my friends have laughed like anything over this little incident. They still make fun of me, not understanding the value of this incident to me :). Ok now, enough of the build up let I narrate the incident to you guys.<br />It was a few years ago, actually many, but I still remember it as if it was yesterday. It was at the time when I was in my junior college. That was one of the best times with great friends in college and a huge family at home. I was living in my grandmother's house in my native. I was accustomed to the city life till then and would be there in my native only for the summer holidays. I loved this place from my younger days. Summer holidays was when I and my brother had the most fun and it was so because of my native place, my cousins there, my cousins who would arrive for the holidays there, all my relatives, the river, the coconut grove, the mango trees, the cricket matches, the fields and whole days spent in the sun with nothing to care for more than my cousin eating one more mango than myself. It was the most fun place to be in and it still is, though all my cousins have grown up and are busy doing some stupid stuff which they consider to be important. Still when we meet up once in a while there, it is as fun as ever. Yeah so I studied my 2 years of junior college there. Those two years were hell a lot enjoyable because of everything, the college, the people at home, and the events I got to be part with, everything. It will be always fondly remembered by me. But the incident I am going to narrate is not related to any of these things; it’s just an incident which made me feel real special.<br />Our college is around 6-7 kilometers from our house; we had to walk nearly a kilometer to reach the bus stop and would then board the bus. Our college was a typical junior college as is common in my native, with uniforms and high school like treatment up to some extent. I would take lunch to the college, yeah there weren’t any canteens kind in the college and the lunch from home was much better than any of the hotels nearby. With the lunch, I was given a bottle full of water everyday. I don’t know, I used to eat lunch from the Tiffin, but I never drank the water from the bottle, I would prefer the tap water set up for drinking than the water brought from home, I don’t know why. But the bottle of water remained as is till the end of the day. I remember it was summer season and it would be very hot. Actually it is throughout the year hot in my native except for the rainy days when it pours like anything. If it’s not raining the weather is always hot. When I am returning from the college, after alighting the bus the kilometer of walk would not always be bad, I enjoyed walking the distance. It is a broad mud road with light forest adjacent to the road at one end and on the other end there is a railway track. Mid way to our house on this road there is one cashew tree in the middle of the road. In the forest adjacent to the road this kind of trees are abundant, we can find lot many of such trees, but here in the middle of the road there were shrubs and all, but there was only this one tree present. Each day I would pass by the tree and would notice the mud on the leaves on the lower part of the tree mostly because of some vehicle which would pass on that road once in a while. Most of the times I wouldn’t care for such a thing and those times too I didn’t care. But I would get nice scolding at home for not drinking the water from the bottle. Expecting me to change my ways is a futile effort, but then i didn’t want to get any scolding from home too, so what I used to do is, since i couldn’t water the whole light forest on those hot sunny days, I would empty my water bottle on this dusty tree on those dry afternoons. Those days it used to be very sunny and I used to pour water to it everyday. I felt i was doing something good, though there was another part of me shouting from inside, stop bullshitting yourself you ass you are just emptying a bottle of water to save some scolding at home, maybe that’s what i did. But to think of why did I not just pour out the water anywhere and everywhere but chose the same dusty dry tree to pour the water to day after day. To this another part of my soul would shout, to gloat thinking how good you are. I guess now you understand having these kinds of souls inside me it’s so tough to think of myself as good. They are always out there to show me how mean and meaningless worthless person i am. Anyways I think I am deviating too much from my story. Everyday I would empty my bottle on this tree. So one sunny windless day, i remember I had finished some exam, chemistry maybe, it was sunny and my exam had gone good. I was in a happy mood and as it was an exam day, I hadn’t carried the water bottle. Something unforgettable happened that day as i approached that tree. It was in the afternoon, the sun was shining and there was no wind whatsoever blowing anywhere. As i approached a cashew fruit fell from the tree. It fell right near my feet. Yeah , my initial thoughts were also similar to yours, I thought some squirrel might have been trying to eat it and must have mistakenly dropped it as it was a pretty ripe fruit and the cashew fruit doesn’t fall usually till it over ripens or some squirrel eats it half and drops. I picked the fruit half suspecting it to be eaten by the squirrel. But the fruit was in the perfect shape and also it was the most beautiful cashew fruit I had ever seen. Many of my cousins would climb the tallest cashew tree for this kind of a fruit, but it had fallen right in front of me on a windless squirrel less sunny day. You guys may call it a coincidence, but I consider this as a showing of love by the tree towards me, I really do, to this day I believe that tree fell in love with me and hence it bore a fruit specially for me and after it ripened it dropped it for me on a windless squirrel less sunny day right in front of my feet. That made my day, actually it made more than my day, but the sad part is I don’t like cashew fruits; nevertheless I was, am and will always be overwhelmed by the gesture of that tree. On reaching home I gave the fruit to one of my cousins who too were really amazed by the beauty of the fruit. He must have really liked the fruit. I took the cashew nut to the stove and we roasted it and ate it. This incident made me feel, irrespective of what my inner soul contradicts, that I have done one good thing in my life and one living creature unrelated to me did love me so much to do something so so so special to me. I really loved this incident.<br />Phew, long story, aint it? After I narrated this story to my friends the first reaction was, I was expecting something sentimental, touching, applause, but no, it was a friend saying man if a branch would have fallen instead of the fruit, we would not have to sit through this whole thing. Can you believe it?</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-28632493983619116402009-11-08T07:24:00.000-08:002010-01-01T04:20:36.704-08:00A bit sad, actually a lot :)<div align="justify">Hmmm... I am depressed; yeah you don’t have to worry that I would write some self pity crap here, cos I won’t. So the last fortnight was quite eventful. "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times; it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness; it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity; it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness; it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair; we had everything before us, we had nothing before us; we were all going directly to Heaven, we were all going the other way." I love this quote of Dickens, he might have used it to describe a more appropriate times. but right now I too can use it to say the current state of my mind, you can argue saying what the hell why am I belittling Dickens, but again this blog belongs to ME and I can do whatever I want to. Yeah, the fortnight had the best moments experienced in my lifetime, it also included the saddest moments I have lived through in my life. But to think of it the sadness was miniscule compared to the happiness those best moments gave. Anyways, I like to be depressed these days, I don’t know why there is some kind of sweetness in all this sadness, I cant explain you what it is, but it surely does have some, and this is the reason I came to know why some people like to be eternally depressed. I know I am talking crap, I know, I am not feeling any good, I am really hating this. I promise I will write better topics now on. But I really loved whatever happened, I never felt this kind of happiness and sadness ever. Anyways I have made a resolution, from now on I would surely write nonsense, meaningless, reasonless things. I am going a bit insane now. So I won’t type anymore tonight. This is it.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-81983840063208260902009-10-04T07:49:00.000-07:002010-01-01T04:24:02.940-08:00I wonder (only sometimes)<div align="justify">In life, I wonder, I wonder who is a winner and who is a loser... if something like that exists. Is someone who is at the heights of what they are doing the winners and the one who is good at nothing the loser? Or is success and failure measured on the amount of money and fame a person earns, or the respect he gets cos of it or is it based on the amount of people who love him. What makes a human life better than another? How can anyone say or judge one person is better than the other? What would it be based on? I really get confused when these kinds of questions are asked. What are we striving for? Or what should I strive for? Sometimes, I think these questions are unanswerable, unanswerable because, when we don even know the meaning or reason of life, how can we come to know the best way to live it? Are we striving for happiness? Is that the goal ? Or are we a bunch of total meaningless creatures on this corner of the universe that can be washed away anytime just made to think and feel as something important. Are we just like the rocks all around us with just a little more power to make us more and more confused? Is this so called intellect and reasoning just a farce to make us think, make us go round and round just to make us feel we are reaching somewhere but eventually it just makes us rotate insanely and leaves us back at the begining with no answers. We are in such a situation that each and everyone have a definition of life and the reason to live it, but none of them can prove that their reasoning is the right one. It is all based on either assumption, or cos it’s written in some books, or cos our elders were always following it. To come to think of it, we have been put in such a beautiful loop. We have been given a reasoning power, but also with that we have been given a strong set of intuitions or instincts which would try to believe what it wants to. So we assume something’s and then we give some facts on those assumptions and try to establish them as the truth. Every 100 years someone comes along and says the base assumption is wrong so the truth which has been told should be re-written. Initially a group of people would resist, then some would want to kill him for even proposing the same and then gradually we accept and we understand his reasoning power was superior to others cos based on the available facts he had the potential to think so much far ahead. But still, there always are some assumptions somewhere to get the results as we want (this point I started believing since I read about how the light propagates in high school, I am not brainy enough to comment on the theory, but felt we made too many assumptions in there). We were taught "Man is an rational being". But to think of it we are only rational in fraction amounts, else we love to live by how our elder’s leaders tell or the holy book says. If we were truly rational there would be lot less pain around in the world. I think we are a hugely instinctive, emotional people ruined by what we are programmed to do by the holy books, the pandits, the mullahs rather than being rational practical beings. Also I feel how much ever I wonder answering my initial questions in the post satisfactorily is near to impossible, but I still hope, I would find the answers someday ....</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-85643841948174033482009-09-12T03:37:00.000-07:002010-01-01T04:27:01.250-08:00Adieu<div align="justify">Yesterday was my last day in the old company. The past few weeks were really good. I had made a lot many friends in the company. This was the time they bonded as real good friends. I really will have lot of fond memories of the team, their love. Also there were many close to the heart encounters which might be a bit inappropriate to share in this public forum, but which will be cherished forever. Nevertheless the week was one of the most eventful one of my life. Thanks for everything. And I am not sure to whom am I thanking :). I think this will be the only post which will make a little sense in this blog.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-86709983228107652522009-08-02T12:21:00.000-07:002010-01-01T04:27:33.714-08:00Confused<div align="justify">hey... am back again. So in the middle of the night, felt like jus typing out a few words, have an interview tomorrow. Dunno how it will go, hope i do well. Really hope so, cos i have made up my mind to leave the current job. This situation is making me think, yeah yet again, this situation and a blog i just read is making me think if we should hold on to what we have and always try for better? Is it a rule or am I scared of the unknowns? Is it always necessary to think about the future and build stairs on which we constantly are climbing? I am too confused right now to put my thoughts into words right now. But my question would be, What are we all running towards ? Should i just stop running and take a moment to think ? Its quite scary thinking of running all your life around just to survive ? Isnt there more to life ? Or am I in the wrong direction ? Anyway wish me luck for my interview, Hope i do well.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-2380378117125232932009-04-10T09:00:00.000-07:002010-01-01T04:28:07.989-08:00Make way for the gyaani<div align="justify">The things you own end up owning you. Just heard this quote somewhere and it like bought me nearer to my quest of dunno what. So this sentence deduces to this: a man is free when he owns nothing he cares much about or when he has nothing to lose, else he would really care when he loses something or he would crib a lot on the loss of the pettiest comfort. So does this say beggars would be one of the most free people on the face of earth ? probably not. The most free people are, who are not owned by things that they have or those who dont care of losing them, who dont crib over losing their comfort or something, who understand they are just living out an illusion and what they lose or are cribbing over were never theirs and were just given to them as a game. So we should understand there is no happily ever after anywhere until you understand that you cant be happy by getting what you want, but you can bring amount of sanity in your life by caring the least of what comes into and goes out of your life. So the gyaan here would be live out of the life you have now, in the present, than caring bout the future or cribbing bout the past.</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-515028835174311606.post-1495060153693204062009-04-04T04:18:00.000-07:002010-01-01T04:28:41.484-08:00Lazy Weekend<div align="justify">So, After thoughts of starting a blog from so many years, Here i am starting one. Writing about nothing. Anyways been in my room the whole of the day, this saturday. Didn't feel like going anywhere. So watched a couple of movies, comedy movies, just to lighten up my mood but to no avail, not that the movies were bad, they were pretty decent , but dunno why my mood is still as crappy as it was yesterday evening. Anyways one of the movie was Monty Python's The meaning of life, It made me think. yeah think on those lines why are men obsessed in knowing the meaning of life and defining their philosophies how life should be lead and a bread should be earned. The last sentence might not have made any sense i just though that lead and bread rhymed so used in a single line.. pretty cool huh? So anyways i was talking about leading life. How bullshitty theory is it when an egoistic erratic person or a group of egoistic erratic people try and say their philosophy of leading life is cool or the best. Anyways it was quite a fun movie, a bit lame and boring in the middle but still enjoyable on the whole. So what else .... mmmmm .. What else can i think of ? Yeah .. Nope thats pointless ... wait .. mmmm ... Yeah the songs of Dev D are cool... hearing to them right now .. Doesnt make any sense but they are cool ... Also another thought . wow loads of thoughts rolling in my head .. i too could try and become a philosopher if these thoughts come on a regular basis ... shhhh shoootttt forgot it .. shittt .. nopes its coming back ... yeah the internet is such a big garbage dump to think of it .. I can publish this junk and in my mind could think someone out there would be reading this and smiling that his life is so much better than mine . Wow net is quite a powerful invention. These many thoughts are enough for a first blog i guess. Should leave some thoughts for future too if i ever write again ...</div>lIl hIgHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05888069160391211356noreply@blogger.com1